Being Strong

So many good things have happened the last few weeks...Chris and I got married, we bought my dad's house, and I got a great job. Sure it's been stressful and I've been exhausted with the transition into my new role, but I really have been the happiest the past few weeks. Today I realized that everything was too good to be true. I received some bad news once again...

I had my CT scan done last night. The whole thing was quite the adventure. First, the IV that they put into me didn't work properly so when they injected the contrast, it squirted out everywhere. They had to put another IV into my arm and start all over. Then, I noticed that something wasn't right with the scan (I didn't go into the machine as far as I usually do), so I asked the technician if they were doing a scan of my chest, abdomen, and pelvis. He said it was only of my abdomen and pelvis. After much discussion back and forth, I convinced him and the radiologist that I needed to have my chest scanned since that is the main area where my disease is located.

Today I met with my nurse practioner and oncologist as planned. When I first saw them they asked me how I was feeling now compared to six months ago and a year ago. I thought that was rather strange, since they never ask me that. Then the bad news came. They said that the mass in my liver and the nodules in my lungs were the same size (tiny), but the mediastinal mass had grown by 1.5 centimeters since my last CT on January 24th. I wasn't completely shocked, because the last few weeks I've been battling with daily fevers and the last couple of days I've had some shortness of breath and slight coughing. It is always difficult however to hear the news.

Next, my oncologist went over all the possible treatment options. She mentioned quite a few different types of chemo treatments, but felt that the best one to try is a drug called Procarbazine. This drug used to be primarly used for Hodgkin's disease, but is now used for Non-Hodgkin's as well. It's taken orally, so basically I just have to take two pills at night every day for two weeks. Then I get a week or two off (depending on my counts). The main side effect is nausea/vomiting, but I will be taking some nausea medication with it to help out. The other bad thing about it, is absolutely no alcohol consumption and a limited diet. I have to be on a low Tyramine diet. This means no cheese (mostly aged cheeses), aged and smoke meats (such as salami, jerky, and smoked salmon), coffee, tea, soda, miso, yogurt, peanuts, and chocolate to name a few things. This is going to be extremely difficult since cheese and chocolate are two of my favorite foods. I can't imagine my life without chocolate.

I will see my doctor again next week so they can check my counts and I will be monitored closely with chest x-rays the next few weeks to make sure my tumor is not continuing to grow uncontrollably. She has also suggested meeting with a radiation specialist again to see the possibility of getting more radiation. Everyone is pretty sure that I've exhausted that possibility, but it wouldn't hurt to double check. Especially since I've always responded so well to radiation in the past. Clinical trials are a more difficult option because they usually don't take patients who have both Hodgkin's and Non-Hodgkin's Lymphoma.

Meanwhile I will focus on this new drug working and try to remain positive. I'm fortunate to still have options available.